OK, think i figured it out... Knock on wood.
Wasnt sure why the server kept bombing, so did some log file searching today...
Seems the machine was bumping up against the max memory and dumping out of either the sql database or the apache web server depending on its mood.
Well, just got back from the local Futureshop with another gig of ram, and we'll see how she runs now.
Keep em crossed! should be a lot more ram that we have needed here in a long long time though.
